I just found out a basketball coach from my son’s league committed suicide at the young age of 30. I haven’t even been able to post anything here about tWitch’s death. I’m still recovering from a drunk driver hitting a woman head on and killing her. I was the first one on scene and tried to resuscitate her, but she was gone. That was the second night in a row of bad accidents for me. Plus my mom was in the hospital and and and … the holidays are full of extra stress and trauma and this year seems to have an abundance.
I just want to scream, STOP. But I know it won’t.
I was talking to a friend of mine this week who said that tWitch’s suicide was selfish. I know others who have this belief too. Quite frankly, this kind of ignorance makes me angry. However, I take this anger and fuel my passion to educate and fight the mental health crisis in our country. It’s why I’m here putting my heart and soul into SunShineBlu.
Let me be clear here. Suicide is NOT the answer, but it is NOT selfish either. Mental illness can fundamentally change a person’s mind, the way they think and how they perceive the world. Just like brain cancer deteriorates the brain, mental illness impairs the mind and can sometimes even change the physical structure of the brain. There’s a difference between wanting to end your pain and wanting to end your life. But for some with mental illness, they just can’t see that difference. And they feel a lot of shame.
None of us know the invisible battles going on in someone’s head. The lies we tell ourselves. Our thoughts are so powerful. When someone dies from suicide, they have lost their battle to mental illness. Just as someone would to cancer. The language we use around this is so important because it can be extremely hurtful to people who have already lost loved ones this way. So STOP and think before you say something. To yourself in your own head and to others.
I would also ask those considering suicide to STAY. Call 988. Call a friend or family member. The world needs you. No matter how dark, lonely and painful it is right now, you are loved and there are brighter days ahead. I know the kind of pain you’re in because I’ve been there myself. I promise you the darkness will lift and the light will shine again.